One God.

It's 3:12 am and my sleep-laden, dry eyes pop open suddenly. This has happened for the past month since I've been home from the hospital. Initially, in my mind it was a moment that burst with anxiety, worry, fear. Anxiety. That has been an unrecognized feature in my life for as long as I remember. One day I recognized, and I remembered.

Recognizing and remembering has helped me. First, I recognized that I regularly felt anxiety. A year later I recognized La illahah illallah. Al-Wahid. Bismillah, Ar-Rahman, Ar-Raheem. There is no deity worthy of worship except God. The One, Absolute, without partners. In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

This week, this night. My eyes flew open to the quiet darkness of my room. Sounds of quietness. The Qur'an plays gently from my cell phone next to my bed, the words are whispers floating, surrounding. The heat vent blows warm air into my house and room on a winter night. My son breaths softly beside me, peacefully asleep. I rise for wudu, walking quietly through the night darkness to a porceline sink, cool and smooth. My face, neck, and the ends of my sleeves still wet with cool water, I walk back to my room and stand for niyyah to pray.

Then, my thoughts roll. Through the motions and words of prayer, my thoughts roll. Employment. Illness. Family. Bills. A grocery list. Irritated, I go back, and back again, to the meaning of my prayer. My thoughts roll again. At tahiyatu lillahi wa As Salawatu Wa At Tayibatu. All prayer and worship through words, action, sanctity, are for God alone. My mind still races. Astaghfirallah. Then,

La illaha illallahu, wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan 'abduhu wa rasuluh... There is no God, but God. Muhammed (peace be upon him) is His messenger.

One God. Many prophets, One Message.

My mind clears of all, but that.